Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Moving To A Different Province



So, I did indeed move outside of the province of where I originally live with my family. At first I was excited and so happy that I got this chance to do something I have a desire for… But, as a couple weeks went by I was having trouble with roommates and I felt like I couldn’t handle it… well I did; kind of a blunt person. The thing is I find it hard sharing a place with two people I don’t know. I had to get a lock on my door because I didn’t know if I could trust them since I had fought with them so much. I called my dad and told him I was thankful I never had any sisters! Drama, drama, drama…
In college I thought things would change, but everything was just like High School all over again… I was/am really disappointed. As it got near the middle of February coming up to our two week break, I struggled a lot. I cried and wish I could just go home to give me more strength by seeing my family. I just couldn’t afford to go home, but my brother called me and said, “Sis I am going home for Valentines weekend want to come?” I was so ecstatic and said, “YES!!!” The four days I was able to be home just made me glad and made me appreciate my family more than I ever have.
When I got back to my basement suite the struggles began again, I feel like a outcast, still do. But, I hid behind my smile, laughter, technology, etc. All my problems since I was fifteen I have avoided had been eating away at me on the inside. As I was looking through my assignments one of them was a technology fast assignment. I could not use any form of social media, but with the exception of calling home, for four days. This caused me to come face to face with all my fears and struggles that were standing in the way of my relationship with Jesus Christ. There were a lot of tears and a lot of prayers. [I will talk more about this in another post.]
The trip back home six hours of driving, a fight broke out between my brother and I. His words cut me deep, he never wants to hear my voice or see my face again. I know that he didn’t mean these words, but the fact is I was close to him as a child and he is all I got. I don’t want to lose him. The fact is I haven’t talked to him since February eighteenth, so prayers would be greatly appreciated for I really do miss him for he only lives half an hour away from me as of right now.
Well, all I can say is when school is done in the middle of April I will be filled with joy and gladness to go home and see my family/friends and my puppies again!!

The Life of A College Student,
Cassandra Falun

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Five Weeks!



WOW!! I can not believe how fast school has gone. Five more weeks and school is out. To look back and see that I took a leap of faith and moved out in January to a different province to go to school I am in shock. Knowing God laid all the funds for everything right in the palm of my hands so that schooling for the first semester was possible is unbelievable! I have grown so much in this first semester, I don’t even know where to begin and things may be left out to talk about another time since it is super long.

When I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of fifteen I always asked God, “if you love me why would you do this to me?” As my epilepsy got worse my faith in God started to fade away. During that period of time I embarrassed myself a lot, not so much that I regret what I did, I just realize now I didn’t notice how much I was worth. After diagnoses after diagnoses I was tired of trying to be mad at God, so I let it go to see if miracles are real… well I can tell you they are because I have been seizure free for three years. Back then if you told me I would end up in college I would have disagreed with you, let alone Bible College. But, here I stand as I am rebuilding my faith I look onto what my future could be. Is God going to keep me going in this direction? I hope so. He has me standing here in Bible College learning about Children’s Ministry and how to be a Children’s Pastor. Something I have always had a passion for, Children! Not only that, I get the chance to be the change in those kids lives, this means the world to me. Anyways I’m signing off I will post tomorrow on my struggles living in a totally different province then my family and prayer.

The Life of A College Student,
Cassandra Falun